I’ve been thinking about marriage lately–and no, it’s not that I’m planning to get married any time soon.
(Although if I ever do get married, you are allowed to glance at the sky with an incredulous expression on your face and ask in apprehension, “…Um, is Jesus back yet?”)
But no, in all seriousness, I’m wondering if getting married at a younger age isn’t such a terrible idea after all. And by “younger,” I mean the age surrounding the 18 – 22 range. Please don’t gasp too audibly; I clearly realize that these are college kids, some fresh out of high school. However, it’s not that far out of reach; tens of decades ago, couples have been getting married as young as 16. Nowadays, you would be the exception–not the rule–if you got married by 25. What was the cause for such age discrepancy? Furthermore, why is there such a stigma for those who choose to get married earlier than most? If I chose to get married right now (I’m currently 22), I would be judged as irrational and unrealistic.
But is it really that irrational and unrealistic? (Okay okay, for ME it would be–in case you couldn’t figure it out, it was purely hypothetical.) But seriously, sure, if the person is emotionally and spiritually immature (which also translates to selfish), then he or she shouldn’t get married…but that’s not exclusive to just young people alone. Thus, I don’t accept the premise that if you’re young, then you must be immature.
Okay, so you ask, “All right, what about finances? I can’t get married without having a stable financial plan first.”
Do you really need to be financially well off for a marriage to work? My parents started out with almost nothing, but because they were committed to each other in marriage, they slowly built up income for the household…and now I’m thankful to say that God has blessed my family with His providence. So again, I don’t accept the reasoning that if you’re “poor,” then you’re “unfit” to be married. So what is it?
(Disclaimer: I’m not hating on anyone who has actually been called to marry later–I acknowledge that all walks of life are different, the way God appoints your life events are different, and maybe you really are to wait on the Lord. I’m just referring to the crowd of people who feel that they need to be completely “ready” before they get married, so I hope that clears up some misunderstandings.)
What does it even mean to be “ready,” anyway? Would you ever be completely “ready?” Does one expect to have it all figured out first before locking into the commitment? For some reason, I don’t think that’s the right perspective. Do you think a person will ever be fully ready for marriage? I sure don’t. Also, I think that we subconsciously raise kids to be mentally younger than they should be. As Pastor Mark Gungor once stated in faint exasperation, “We’re raising a bunch of adolescent 30-year-olds in this generation!”
Somehow, I don’t disagree with him. I do see immaturity being increasingly produced at a later age within people of this generation. I should know–I am tragically among those maturity-waned adults.
Lastly, it’s a little sad to see couples’ parents force their kids to not get married until they’re nearing 30…and yet at the same time expect them to “resist temptation.” I mean, c’mon–that is a borderline-sick joke. The apostle Paul directly states with certitude,
“…If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (I Corinthians 7:9)
In other words, to avoid sexual immorality, get married! Why not?
Marriage is good. Marriage is a covenant. Marriage is holy. And as a church, we should be the couples’ spiritual and practical support of their love stories…not the obstacle. But all in all, as a single person, I don’t think I could write any more than I already have since I don’t have the experience to back it up. I can say that I’ve seen a lot…so what I know about romance and the problems attached to romance is based on only speculation. I’d love to get married, but I just need to learn to grow up is all. Hopefully, it won’t take such a long time.
May Jesus teach me how to love like He does.
Chette
September 2, 2009
Good. I am glad God is conditioning you now. Truthfully and honestly sis. I thought this is one of your sentences, “I think I am not going to get married thingy” hehehe. But let me remind you sis ^^ Confession is powerful. Whatever comes out of our mouth comes true. So even stop saying, “I won’t get married” lol.. what if God is telling you, “I am already holding your godswill hand, and you don’t want him?”
Just don’t let go of God’s hand, He is holding your hand while He is holding your ‘destined one’ on His other hand ^^
One last thing ^^, I also believe that you can get married without anything. My parents also started with nothing ^^
Chette
September 2, 2009
and God’s timing is still perfect ^^ no matter how young or old you are ^^
Chris K
October 4, 2009
Hmm, I’ve actually been thinking more and more about marriage lately. Maybe it’s about time for me.
remzi boufedji
December 6, 2010
I iI……I I am very ….happy. and II ….I…..